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Fee: $5000/exp
Illinois Based







Comedian



"The Battle of the Sexes"


Though it's not a fair fight, and probably ought to be stopped, it thrives and rages for the most primal of reasons — it's endlessly mysterious, fascinating  and fun!


Rex Havens braves this haunting, daunting battlefield armed with the only weapon essential to survival — laughter!  Based on the only two truths Rex  has learned about men and women — "I'm a man . . . and I'm Sorry!"

Rex's comedy routine is a fresh approach to an ageless subject, tongue planted firmly and cleverly in cheek, and dedicated to the notion that happiness lies not in victory, but in the glory and undeniable humor of the struggle. Yes, it's not the destination but the journey, and the journey with Rex includes such lessons as:
  • The Wedding. "Sorry, pal, not your day.
  • Women and children first. "Still not your day!
  • She's your "better half." Guess what that makes you.
  • "I just hope you're happy" and other lines your wife can deliver with a straight face.
  • "Would it kill you to . . . . ?" No? Then do it and shut up.
  • Marriage is a democracy: One woman, one vote!
  • How my resourceful wife took a beautiful, huge, His-&-Her walk-in closet . . . and converted it . . . to a "Her!"
This is family-friendly standup comedy for all ages. Whether the battle  is won or lost matters little in the end. When we're able to examine honestly  our strengths, weaknesses, insecurities and incongruities, with open minds,  hearts and smiles, everyone wins!

Rex Havens is a respected member of the National Speakers Association and has performed his hilarious show in all 50 states and over 30 countries. He has performed for nearly every major U.S. corporation from A-to-Z (thanks to Quaker Oats and Xerox!!). Rex's tasteful and intelligent humor is perfect for events requiring nothing but the best in comedic entertainment.

Rave Reviews:

 "Thank you for a wonderful performance! It is so refreshing to listen to a comedian who doesn't use foul language and still gets huge laughs. You are truly a great performer!
    - Motorola, Inc., Judy Whitehead, Special Events Manager

 "I want to personally thank you for the excellent show you put on for our Holiday Party. Your presentation was perfect for our crowd, and you kept everyone in stitches until the last joke was told. I have been hearing GREAT comments from everyone, and they can't rave enough about how incredibly funny your show was!"
    - 3M Corporation, Peg Gaudreau, HR Manager

"Your comedy show for our Partners Plus Award Ceremony at the Minneapolis Hilton was hilarious! Our Partners were still laughing over your performance long after the ceremony ended. And the personalized anecdotes we gave you (some of our people's humorous stories) were impressively incorporated into your comedy routine. Thanks for helping to make our conference a tremendous success!!"
    - Toshiba America Business Solutions, Inc., Laurie L. Sorensen, Director

"Your hilarious keynote presentation, "Everything I Need to Know I Learned From My Wife!, was the perfect fit for the convention's closing session. The standing ovation from over 550 persons in attendance was well deserved. Your material was ideal for the mostly female audience yet enjoyed equally by the men. The hearty laughter throughout the room confirmed how effectively you reached everyone."
    - Illinois Health Care Association, Kevin D. Klug, Director of Education

"What a wonderful entertaining end to our week of meetings!
 And so refreshing to see it done with such style, wit & taste!"
    - Samsonite, Inc., Linda Mattingly, Special Events Director

  Partial List of Additional Clients:
  • Frito-Lay
  • Proctor & Gamble 
  • Toshiba America, Inc. 
  • State Farm Insurance 
  • United Way of Cook County 
  • Rockwell International 
  • Caterpillar 
  • Texaco 
  • Maytag 
  • GKC Theaters 
  • Quarterdeck Corp. 
  • Ameritech
  • Hewlett-Packard 
  • VTech 
  • Allstate Insurance 
  • Jostens 
  • Con-Agra 
  • Burlington Northern RR 
  • T. J. Maxx 
  • Norwest Bank 
  • Phillips Petroleum 
  • Ducks Unlimited 
  • Principal Financial Group 
  • Johnson & Johnson 
  • Cooper Nuclear 
  • Dart 
  • Telecom 
  • Lenders Bagels 
  • Honeywell 
  • AFLAC Insurance
  • Adams Mark Hotels 
  • Lowe's Home Centers 
  • Ralston Foods 
  • Quaker Oats 
  • Asplundh 
  • IES Utilities 
  • Bethphage Foundation 
  • Garst 
  • Angel Flight Foundation 
  • Avon 
  • Vishay 
  • Keystone Steel 
  • Kohler 
  • AgriBank 
  • St. Louis Barnes Hospital 
  • McLeod USA 
  • Interbake Foods 
  • Stratford Homes 
  • Sarah Bush Lincoln Health Fnd.
  • ATI Global, Inc. 
  • Lear Corporation 
  • Blue Cross/Blue Shield 
  • IRES Foundation 
  • Style Craft Furniture
  • PMC ProMap Corporation 
  • Midwest Truckers Association 
  • J. H. Larson Co. 
  • Justrite Manufacturing 
  • American Family Insurance 
  • Nuveen Investments 
  • Featherlite, Inc. 
  • Brownell, Inc. 
  • Iowa Optometric Association 
  • Moline Rotary 
  • Dunn Co. 
  • Iowa Firemen's Association 
  • The Heritage Group 
  • Western Retail Lumber Assn.
  • Maurice's, Inc. 
  • Nat. Electrical Contractors Assn.
  • Emerson Electric Company 
  • ACI Mechanical, Inc. 
  • Ohio Forestry Association 
  • Reformed Bible College




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Standup Comedy



Promotional Info

Promotional.pdf


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"What a wonderful entertaining end to our week of meetings!
    - Samsonite, Inc., Linda Mattingly, Director